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They ride their trashy Dutch bikes like die-hard rickshaw cyclists in India, they know that going Dutch is synonymous for “baby, pay your own bill” and they stalk their naked neighbour in his curtain-less flat just like he is stalking them. They are expats gone wild in Amsterdam and I am one of them! Let me share my stories about a foreigner’s life in this glorious town. You’re in La La Land before you know it.
Part 9: Dutch Rap for Breakfast
Just one of those nights in Amsterdam: You’re out in a bar with your friends planning on your next smart coup in the city, when the lead singer of a famous Dutch hip-hop band comes in. This happens to me every once in a while, like last week, when I ran into one of the guys from De Jeugd van Tegenwoordig. Since I love to embarrass myself, I walked up to him and told him that I’m pretty cool because I know his songs by heart even though I’m not Dutch. While he only seemed peripherally interested in that, there’s one thing that needs to be said in defence of every foreigner who’s not fluent in Dutch, but knows some famed lyrics. You might not be able to speak Dutch, but who gives a damn if you can rap it! All it takes is knowing the following list of pieces off the cuff. “Ik spreek een beetje Nederlands” was yesterday – “I eat that shit for breakfast” is what’s up.
1. Dio – Tijdmachine
This stuff is sophisticated, nothing for wannabes. If you think Scatman Joe was fast, this guy will make your tongue twist.
2. De Jeugd van Tegenwoordig – Sterrenstof
One of the first Dutch songs I’ve learned and thus, the absolute number one in this baby-Dutch rap course.
3. Le Le – Skinny Jeans
No skinny jeans, no fiesta. True story.
4. The Opposites – Broodje Bakpao
If you thought tough guys don’t care about their sandwich filling, let this one educate you.
5. Gers Pardoel – Bagagedrager
This guy hits the mark. Girls don’t want no BMW, they want bike carriers.
Featured image by Ben Houdijk.
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